I Have Returned!

Wow, after almost two years of posting absolutely nothing, and with very little to build upon, I have returned to continue my blogging adventure. So much has happened over the past two years, and I want to share some of those things with people who might be interested. The Lord has continued to be gracious to me and my family, because the Lord is good! Is it not God who sends rain on the just and the unjust, and makes His sun rise on the evil and the good?

As some of you know, my wife, my girls, and I are going through a very difficult trial. My wife moved out roughly 3 months ago. She was and continues to be under very heavy burdens, many if not most of which were caused by me. Over the past several years, I had been growing more and more consumed with myself and what I wanted to do without much regard to my wife or my family. I would return from work and sit on the computer, spending much of my time focused there and not on my family. The weekends, unfortunately, were not much different. Sure, the family would still do things, but those times were growing fewer and fewer, and my wife was being forced to “do it alone”. I was still spending time with the girls, though certainly not nearly as much as I should have been. I was still spending time with my wife, though usually when it was time to go to bed. Needless to say, I was consumed with pure selfishness, or pride if you will, and I didn’t see the burden it was putting on my wife. I most certainly was not loving my wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her (Eph 5:25).

Over the course of the past several years, the Lord was lovingly chastising me for my behavior. That in itself is a glorious thing, since He chastises His children. However, my conviction never really lasted long. I would give up some of my weights and sins for a time, but would always return. That reminds me a lot of Proverbs 26:11 and 2 Peter 2:22, sadly.

As a dog returns to his own vomit, So a fool repeats his folly. (Proverbs 26:11)

But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: "A dog returns to his own vomit," and, "a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire." (2 Peter 2:22)

In its most basic form, I was refusing to repent from this weight and sin. I would address the issue by leaning on my own strength, which quickly would be overcome and fail. I praise God that He finally poured out such conviction over my spirit that I was driven to true repentance over my sin. However, I had already done a lot of “damage” to my wife and family. I remember standing before my whole family the day following my repentance, telling them that my sin was inexcusable but that the Lord had led me to repentance and had forgiven me. I then asked them to do the same thing.

I will never know the burden I placed on my wife of my family during those years. From my wife’s perspective it, along with her other burdens, were heavy enough that she felt that leaving me was the only way out. My youngest girls must now face the consequences of sin by “bouncing” back and forth between my wife and me. While I know that I am not “solely” responsible for all the burdens, I know that I contributed a lot. Sin is never without consequences.

Over the past few months since she moved out, I have had a lot of time to read, study, and pray over things. I have put a lot of time and tears into two topics, namely divorce and remarriage (for my own sake), and thought that I would share my position with everyone. I also figure that my posts can be more frequent in the future, given my much wiser use of the time God gives me. I know that the Lord has given me a lot of wisdom throughout this trial in answer to countless prayers, and I would be a fool not to share it with everyone.

I have found several verses that have greatly encouraged me, and this is one of them:

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. (James 1:2-6)

Let us all pray, asking for wisdom, and have the faith to wait diligently for the Lord to supply us with it. His timing is perfect, while ours is anything but. In this we learn patience.

Grace be with you all!

In Christ,
Ric